Turquoise Kitchen Mystery: Secrets of a Killer Kitchen

Monday, 18th March 8:58am 2024

Dear Reader,

To celebrate World Storytelling Day 2024, today’s Masterclass Kitchens article is a murder mystery. Make no mistake, though, everything in this blog is based on true events. After all, as the world’s finest luxury kitchen manufacturer, it stands to reason that we occasionally create a kitchen so stunning, individuals will consider nefarious plots to get a range. Even murder. When that happens, we call in Detective Kit Chen.

During a recent mystery, Kit arrived after one family encountered a turquoise kitchen so bewitching it changed their lives forever. Could Kit unearth what makes a turquoise kitchen design so good people would kill for it? Could he save a life in the process? Read Chen’s famous Turquoise Kitchen Mystery!

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“Lock the doors!” barked Detective Kit Chen as he entered the Masterclass showroom. “Nobody leaves.” A greeter did his bidding as he breezed past a handsome Hawksmoor range. There, Chen encountered a blonde, fifty-something woman, dabbing her eyes. “I’m Detective Kit Chen. And you’re the victim’s wife, I presume? Susan Barwell. 50. From Oxford.”

“How did you know?” The woman lowered her hanky, aghast.

“Detective’s intuition, my dear. I know all.” He pointed to a man lying spreadeagled on a kitchen island – turquoise; a classic affair with a modern twist. “Who’s this?”

“It’s Ralph,” said Susan, tearfully. “My husband. The kids and I,” she referenced her two adult children nearby. “We found him in this fantastic kitchen. He’s been killed, I swear! I don’t know why someone would, though. Not in this wonderful… blue kitchen? Green kitchen? Teal kitchen?”

“It’s a turquoise kitchen,” Chen confirmed. “The island is Beach House, to be exact. A Masterclass miracle. Does anyone see a brochure? I could show you.”

“Afraid not. It is lovely, though,” said Susan. She glanced at a small mark on the parquet flooring. “Perfect even, except for this one scuff. But what can you expect from a busy showroom?” Then, remembering the problem at hand, she added. “Can you solve my husband’s murder, Detective?”

“I’m on the case, Mrs Barwell. Now, let’s assemble the facts.”

Blue-Grey Kitchen Secrets

“First, it’s clear this was no accident. The walkways are clear, the working triangle is complete and the cupboards all include soft-close technology. As with all Masterclass kitchens, it has all the pillars of good kitchen design. Safety baked into the design.” Leaning against the island, Chen inspected Ralph’s right shoe. “Loose sole,” he mused. “Everyone, it appears Ralph was struck.”

“Struck?! I thought maybe poison,” Susan choked. “There’s no blood on the teal!”

“Not a teal kitchen, Mrs Barwell, remember? It’s Beach House – a shade of green. Kitchen colours are important. And need I point out that these finishes, while covering high-quality FSC® and PEFC accredited board, all wipe clean? Another Masterclass staple. Did your husband have enemies?”

“No, but a lot of people are after his fortune.”

“You have a family fortune?” Chen’s eyes glittered at the adult children; a young man and woman.

“My parents’ financial matters are none of your business,” the young man spoke up suddenly. “Besides, Megan and I were with Mum at the butcher’s this whole time. Dad was browsing alone.”

“Monty’s telling the truth,” added his sister.

“Did he often visit Masterclass Kitchens alone?” Chen continued, every bit a bloodhound in a manilla trench coat. He could practically smell a clue in the air. “Was this part of his routine?”

“Not really. I usually choose our ranges alone,” his wife admitted. “Bespoke affairs, like this one.” She opened an arm to the turquoise kitchen. “They’re why people think we have a fortune: the quality.”

“And did you pay a fortune?”

“Well…” Mrs Barwell looked shifty. “Yes. A bespoke range like this costs six figures.”

“Liar.” The single syllable left Chen’s mouth like a shotgun blast. “Mrs Barwell. I think I’ve solved this case already. You see, I believe it is you who did this to Ralph.”

Kitchen Cupboard Bins

“You cad! Have you lost your mind, old chap?!” Susan’s son exploded. “This is preposterous!”

“Monty, why are you talking like that?” his sister asked. “It’s 2024. You live in Newport.”

“Oh, sorry. Got carried away. But my point stands! This kitchen is minimalist. Where’s Mum even supposed to hide a murder weapon? She arrived with us!”

“I’m glad you asked.” Chen smirked. He pulled open a base unit drawer. It was surprisingly deep. “It appears, like most people, you see a neat kitchen range and think it has no storage. Just look at that grey, handleless one over there. You underestimate, however, the power of its little grey cells.

“Take these LineaPlus cabinets. 600mm deep and extra wide with no centre mullion, they’re the largest drawers on the market with 30% more capacity than the standard. By chance, this one contains a lethal-looking wok, but I don’t believe that’s what your mother used to put Ralph out of action.”

Susan looked horrified. Checking another pan drawer on a white range, she discovered that one also had a T.A.R.D.I.S.-like storage capacity, far bigger than it appeared from the outside. “I didn’t kill him!”

“Please, let me finish, Madam. My point is that a colourful kitchen like this turquoise one must look minimalist to remain tasteful, but it still needs storage capacity to work in the real world.”

Pacing like a barrister addressing a jury, Chen approached a dark Madoc range and opened a set of bi-fold doors. “Exhibit B: a Bar Dresser. Generous shelving, a wine glass rack, interior lighting – this clever kitchen storage solution can conceal anything – including poisoned elixirs. Need a drink yet?”

“I’ll take an old fash–” Monty began. Seeing Chen’s withering look, he paused.

“Now, having demonstrated a Masterclass kitchen’s exceptional storage solutions, that brings us to our primary clue: the weapon that struck poor-fated Ralph. It’s in these VelaBins.” Chen gestured for Susan to pull a drawer. Doing so with a single finger, she revealed a gliding double kitchen bin. The family gasped, and Chen raised an eyebrow: “You see it, too?”

“No,” Susan’s daughter Megan admitted. “But it’s a beautiful feature. I’d love a double kitchen bin. And a kitchen cupboard bin that hides in a cabinet is even better! It would go so well with that pull-out larder or that kitchen corner pantry cupboard over there. The ones that hold a whole food shop.”

“Ah, you mean the SpaceTower – an excellent kitchen unit pull-out storage choice – and the Lansbury, the modern home’s equivalent of a walk-in pantry. But I digress. Allow me to enlighten you on why these VelaBins solve the mystery that lays before us… In short, their cabinet was ajar.”

“Ajar?” Monty frowned and glanced uneasily at his mother.

“Indeed.” Chen flashed a smile. “You probably didn’t notice but when your mother opened this cabinet, there was a slight clunk. That wasn’t a feature. On a normal day, these Blum runners are silent. The company even offers a lifetime guarantee; they’re that confident in their longevity.

“This drawer, however, was slightly ajar because it was slammed quickly and, as a result, something got stuck in the bin lid. Please, Mrs Barwell, lift it. See for yourself.”

Susan did, weighing the container. “It’s light but there’s definitely something in there.” Placing it on a counter, she opened it and pulled out an item.

“What’s that, Mum?” Megan asked.

“It’s…” Susan wrinkled her nose in confusion at a toffee-coloured book. “A luxury coffee table catalogue?”

“A Masterclass’s brochure, yes. Remember we couldn’t find one? I knew where it was the moment I arrived.”

The woman’s brow furrowed. “But, Detective, you said Ralph was struck, and that I did it?”

“He was struck – by the quality. You admitted yourself that you always bought your kitchens alone in the past. This time, you let poor Ralph come without warning. I can tell by his resting angle on the island that he had his shock here, in front of the VelaBins. There, he recoiled in surprise, scuffed his shoe on the parquet flooring – hence the mark and his loose sole – and tossed the brochure forward as he lost balance, jamming the VelaBin closed. The momentum carried him onto the island worktop. George will confirm, no doubt.”

“Who the devil is George?” Monty demanded.

“Your mother’s accomplice. George!”

The Kitchen Designer

Answering to his name, a smartly dressed man appeared from the showroom’s main office. “Ah, Detective. You’re here… again. Apologies, I was just on lunch. How can I help?”

“Your presence is enough, George. I presume you spoke to this man earlier?”

“I did indeed. Just drew up a kitchen for him and ran him through the costs. Then I left him with a print-out of the breakdown.”

“And did he know the total cost?”

“He would have once he read the breakdown.”

“And there it is – the shock. Mrs Barwell, I knew you were lying when you said you paid a fortune for your previous kitchens. You see, Masterclass kitchens start from only £15,000. Despite looking like six-figure affairs, this luxury is affordable.”

Susan clutched her heart. “Oh no! I did kill him after all!”

“I wouldn’t be so certain.” Chen prodded the limp man’s foot and, at that moment, Ralph grunted on the island. “Mrs Barwell, your husband is fine – just unconscious. The only crime here is the high quality.”

“Thank heavens he’s okay!” Megan rejoiced. Glancing at her mother, she added. “So, you and Dad don’t have a fortune, Mum? We thought you had millions! You have some explaining to do.”

“I’m afraid I’ll need your father for that, Darling.”

“Pop open that small MagnaSpace larder behind you,” Chen interjected helpfully. "You’ll find a spice rack with smelling salts for him. Masterclass Kitchens really do have everything.”

“Thank you, Detective.” Monty brightened, inspecting a teal tea towel that perfectly complemented the range. “You’re a genius. But I have just one last question … How can I get a blue-green kitchen?”

At that, Chen winked. “You’ll have to talk to George. I solve crimes; he’s the genius when it comes to turquoise kitchen cabinets.” Feeling his phone buzz, Chen’s glanced at the screen. “Now if you’ll excuse me, staff have found a woman unconscious in another showroom. My work here never ends.”

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Do your DIY kitchen plans resemble a crime scene, dear reader? Have you bought a teal microwave you love and don’t know how to create a matching kitchen that’ll remain stylish forevermore? Book a meeting with the team at your local Masterclass showroom. Or for extra inspiration:

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